The weight is over.

I have a couple 500 pound gorillas sitting on my chest right now. There are some situations that have made me feel increasing hate, incredible sickness, and overall worry and regret. I am living in the positive, and I just accomplished one thing that the moment I hit "send" made me feel like a better person. I can breathe easier.
Athena Cameransi and I have never liked each other. More of, I've never liked her. I honestly have no idea if she feels hate, pity, or absolutely nothing about me, because I never talk to her. I have spent most of middle school and all of high school disliking her, and for a reason that holds zero bearing on me now. I just sent her a message on myspace and explained why I didn't like her and how sorry I am for being such a negative thing in her life. God, I feel so much better now. I don't know if you can understand or relate at all, but letting go of harmful feelings is the biggest release and relief ever. I'm so glad I finally talked to her about this, and now, we can both move on.
I have a couple more people to talk to. Some I want to talk to this week. Others, that will take some courage to work up to. But it's progress. Hallelujah.

While I'm not completely happy with where I was, or where I am right now, I'm happy that I can recognize this. The first step to fixing a problem is admitting that you have one.

Beach tonight with my friends from TOHS. It's another night of connecting and healing and fixing and living. Looking through my yearbook, realizing there's a week left of high school, I'm remembering all of the good times and realizing how ridiculous most of our drama is. I'm sad to see it end, but it's given me the perspective to make things right, for others and for myself. So I can only be thankful for that.


I still can't get over how light I feel.
XOXO
-Relieve, Relax, and Relive