"As the flow of time goes on, you will suffer great pain. To deal with this pain is to become strong, to learn from this pain is to become wise, and to hold onto the pain is to become hurt." Wise words from a wise sibling.

'I love you' is not a justification for emotional torture.
My loss and my hurt is not justified by those words.

I want to hit you, Travis. I want to hug you. I want to never see you again, and I don't ever want to let you go.
I'll never be done with this emotional wringer. You're my best friend.
Call me if you ever want to speak to me again. You're my best friend.