Twilight.

So, while I was preparing for sleep (oh curse you, school!), I realized many a man longs to hold the secret to a woman's heart, to truely understand what it takes to win her over. Men, I am here to tell you that secret, and the root of all evil: Edward Cullen. Oh yes, it's true. Although fictional, this vampire can turn any virgin into a lusty bag of hormones. If you haven't read Twilight (and I seriously suggest you do; it is the smoothest line that will get you any girl; "Yeah, I really didn't like New Moon.") then do it; it is the secret weapon that will get you to understand what WE (here on out 'we' is to reference all womankind between the ages of 15 and 29) really desire. If you don't have the time to read the series, here's the gist:

The physique, the tough exterior (literal and figurative), the chiseled jaw line, the self-control, the smoldering eyes, the macho bravado, the desire, the touseled hair, the mystery, the danger, the strength, the energy, the speed, the protective nature, the security, the physique (it deserves to be said more than once!), the diction, the old-fashion ideals, the morals, the respect, the gentleman, the physique (all right, I'm done saying that one), the humor, the humbility, the safety, the dignity, the family values, the nurturing, the crooked smile, the diamond-cut and sparkling chest (I swear, this is different than physique!), the extreme perfection, the hitch of the leg (Oh, Eclipse), the broken bed posts, the feathers, the remote island getaway, the secluded mansion, the king size bed with gold sheets, the shiny volvo.... Mmm.



Feeling a tad dejected? I'm also here to give you hope! Edward. Cullen. is. fictional. He is our fantasy. When the hormones settle down, and you've given us a day or so after reading for the charm to wear off, we do know that men don't sparkle, aren't made out of marble, and can't stop cars with their bare hands. That is our reality, and when that reality kicks in, you soo better be there to catch the fall!

At any rate, I'm still rooting for Jacob.


Wishing on 11:11 to wake up with feathers and bruises,
JElizabeth.